I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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