Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
