Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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