I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
