She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
