Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
