Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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