tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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