I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
