Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
