You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
time to smoke my breakfast
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
