THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
