I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
