how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
