My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
