i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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