is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
vagina is talking i cant
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
