So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize