i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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