eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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