Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize