This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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