I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
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Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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