I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
