You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
