we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
