Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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