I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
