My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
