He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize