no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
