The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
