oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
