things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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