Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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