I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
