If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
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At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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