Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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