paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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