i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
