I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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