I think im going to throw up on grandma
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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