Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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