somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize