I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
