All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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