ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
