So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
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i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
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