thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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