everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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