i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize