I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
