I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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