Sponge bath it is.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
